Learning to Love the Parts You Were Taught to Hide

Have you ever looked in the mirror and wondered if there’s a part of you that’s just too much? Maybe too damaged or too imperfect to ever be truly loved?

What if I told you that these parts of you, those unlovable pieces, are not only worthy of love, but they are the very key to your healing?

I know because I’ve been there.

For so long, I carried this belief that certain parts of me were unworthy of love. The angry part of me that couldn’t forgive. The scared little girl who just wanted to feel safe. The woman who felt like a failure after years of trying to make a toxic relationship work.

I spent years hiding those parts. I buried them so deep that I thought no one, not even me, would ever have to see them. I put on a mask of perfection, of having it all together, thinking that if I could just get everything right, then maybe, someone would love me. 

And I mean, really love me.

But what I didn’t realize then was that by rejecting these parts of me, I was blocking the very love I craved. I was rejecting the most sacred pieces of me, the ones that needed love the most. And in doing so, I was unknowingly creating a gap between myself and the love I sought so desperately.

We all have parts of us that we think are unlovable. And I mean the hidden wounds and shameful secrets, the things we’ve been taught to suppress because they don’t fit the mold of what we think loveable is supposed to look like. 

Maybe it’s the anger you still carry from a past betrayal, the insecurity that holds you back, or the fear of abandonment that makes you push others away.

It could be the scar from a toxic relationship where you gave everything, only to be left feeling empty. It could be the ache of not feeling seen or heard as a child. It could even be that small, vulnerable part of you that still feels unworthy of happiness or success.

But as we age, those hidden wounds can become even harder to face. 

We start to compare ourselves to others. We worry about how we look, how we act, how we ‘measure up’ to the trends and the social expectations. 

We scroll through highlight reels, forgetting that behind every perfect image is another woman fighting her own invisible battles. We begin to feel as though we’re falling behind, as though we’re running out of time to become who we were meant to be. 

But beneath that pressure is a deeper truth. What we’re really longing for isn’t more perfection. It’s peace. The kind of peace that comes from being seen and loved, because of what you went through, not despite of it.

When you begin to turn toward the parts of you that feel unlovable, something shifts. Something extraordinary. You stop fighting yourself. You stop holding your pain at a distance, as if it’s something to be hidden away. 

Instead, you begin to see your wounds for what they truly are—doorways into deeper love. 

The very places you once saw as broken become sacred ground. You start to realize that you were never incomplete. You were simply waiting to meet yourself with compassion.

I’ll never forget the moment I finally turned toward the part of me I had run from for years. I was bullied throughout my elementary school years and there was a part of me who longed to be seen but was so afraid to speak up. Because when you’ve been bullied, you learn that staying small feels safer than being seen. You learn to hide the parts of you that shine, hoping it will protect you.

When I stopped trying to perfect her and simply loved her, everything changed. I stopped searching for approval and began to feel a quiet peace blooming from within. The love I had been chasing found its way home to me.

Healing is a daily practice of remembering that you are enough with all your stories and secrets and scars. And yes, there will be days when the pain feels heavy again, when the same doubts whisper that you’re too much or not enough. But, that’s exactly when the greatest healing happens. When you choose to stay. When you breathe into the discomfort instead of abandoning yourself. When you keep choosing love over everything. And every time you stay and become aware, you build another layer of safety and self-trust. 

No matter how many times you’ve felt unworthy, please know that you are enough. You always have been. The parts of you you’ve tried to hide and labeled as your flaws are actually your truth and your strength. When you begin to love yourself through your own eyes, not the eyes of the world, you stop trying to become someone else and start remembering who you truly are. 

So, take a deep breath. Place your hands over your heart and say to yourself, I love you. I see you. I accept you. 

Because that is where your healing begins. That is where you come home to the woman you were always meant to be.